Does it matter that I am heterosexual?

What I need is a good wife!  If I had a wife to help me take care of the details in my life I am certain things would go smoother!  I have three blouses that need buttons replaced.  I have bills that need to be paid.  I have last month’s personal paperwork that needs to be filed.  I have dry cleaning that has to be picked up before it becomes a donation to the Salvation Army.  My plants need to be watered. My prescription has expired.  And, I’d like a nice home cooked meal for a change!

 

I’d like my wife to find out if my insurance will cover laser eye surgery.  And, while she has the insurance company on the line, maybe she could find out how much dental coverage I have left this year.  Of course, that is probably about four phone calls!  It would certainly be a huge help if she would find a good deal on airline tickets, get the oil changed on the car, stop at the post office for the pretty stamps and write out the Christmas cards.

 

But the most important thing my “wife” could do for me, is help me remember birthdays!  She would have already marked the appropriate days on the calendar, bought the stamps, looked up the addresses and laid everything out in front of me.  It would certainly keep me out ofthe dog house with dear friends! 

 

Sorry, Mr. M.  Mea culpa!  Mea maxima culpa.