Admitted Night Owl

After the sad note in that last entry, I feel compelled to end my day on a happier, if not scary, note.  The other night I was back home after a pleasant evening out and I was still wide awake and antsy.  So, what did I do?  Did I submerge myself in any of the six hours of the West Wing Marathon I had TIVO'd?  No.  Did I work on either one of my journals?  No.  Did I try to help Jayveeconcerto obtain the safe release of his kidnapped counter? Hahahaha-No!   At 11:30 PM I jump in the car and head to the 24 hour WalMart Super Center a few miles from my home.

 

What possesses a seemingly "normal" woman, of sufficient intelligence and a healthy dose of common sense, to go to Wal Mart in the middle of the night?  Beats the heck out of me but that is exactly what I did this weekend. Big mistake.  Even bigger learning experience.

In spite of what I have already confessed, I did take precautions.  I drove around the parking lot, which was still quite full, looking for a well-lit space, near the front door.  Only one door is open at this hour of the night I learned.  There was a large congregation of people hanging out near the automatic doors.  They did not look particularly threatening but not wanting to take any chances, I waited until the official Parking Lot Security golf cart drove down my row before I emerged from the car. I had to laugh to myself when I got closer to the entrance and realized that most of the folks "loitering" out front had WalMart badges hanging from their non-descript clothes.  Some were holding their blue vests in their hands, I suspect, as proof they were off the clock. 

I got a cart (big mistake!) and bravely charged forward.  What a nightmare!  It seemed that every aisle was an obstacle course.  Mountains of stock blocked my path at every turn.  I would see the aisle where I needed tuna fish, but I had to go all the way to the aisle with toilet paper to make a U-turn.  I wentahead and stocked up on the tp, and picked up sale crackers, pumpkin pie filling and almonds on my way back to the tuna fish.  Hmmm ... I think I see why I am being forced to take the long way around! 

And, the helpful staff you cannot find during the daylight hours?  Guess what?  They are all stocking shelves in the middle of the night!!

I need to repot a plant that has become rootbound and so I wandered over to the gardening section.  Naturally, at this time of year the selection of gardening supplies is significantly diminished but I found an adequate substitute. Next to the gardening section I was disconcerted to find Christmas trees lit up in the Halloween section.  I was not a Marketing major and I know that WalMart has been very successful (much to the chagrin of the mom and pop enterprises along the way), but it just does not seem right to find animated snowmen next to skeleton costumes.  Even worse is to find glow in the dark makeup and plastic eyelashes next to snowglobes of the Nativity scene. That is just wrong!!

Turns out there are just as many small children filling the aisles in the middle of the night as there are during the day.  The problem at night?  They dart out from between the tall boxes of stock and you do not see them coming until they bounce into your cart and run off in the other direction like a pinball slammed by a flipper. I had visions of the driver's ed film in the simulator where the ball comes out from between two cars and seconds later a child follows.  You slam on the brakes and are hesitant to move forward.  (Do they still teach driver's education that way?)

I'd had enough!  I thought it would be easier and faster to shop in the middle of the night but I was wrong.  And, to make matters worse, of the 36 checkout stations, only four were open and each had a line that wound around, passed the batteries, the candy, the magazines, the pulp fiction, a carousel of cards, the state souvenirs, racks of maps, cotton candy and small packets of tissues, baby wipes, cleanser, nail clippers and toothpaste. Not a complete waste of time.  I learned that Jennifer Aniston is moving on with her life after Brad and Nick and Jessica are wearing their rings. 

I wonder if they have ever had the thrill of shopping Wally World in the middle of the night?